Xin Nian Kuai Le, one and all. And of course, happy valentine's day to one and all. Heh. Lonely Hearts Club here, so yeah, not celebrating with anyone special. But then again I am spending it with special people, my family <3 You know, I've learnt the hard way that family is something that you have to accept, no matter the circumstances. Cos ain't nobody gonna have your back the way your family will. No matter how dysfunctional it can get (and trust me, I understand dysfunctional, with every fiber of my being), you can't help but love your family. You can't help but want the best for them. You can't help but get angry at them, especially since being family, you tend to expect more. You can't help but be selfish, cos family will forgive you anyways. You can't help but be you. Though, it's not to say that that is how one should treat family.

I've got a lot of pain and hurt, inflicted by my family towards me. Some wounds just never seem to heal, that I know. Sometimes, no matter how hard I try, I know I can't change what has happened. I can't make things..normal. Which is difficult for me to accept sometimes. Cos I expect more from my family. I have all these dreams and fears, that I harbor in my head. But the thing is, I know that I've got to learn to slowly accept it. Slowly make things better. It's hard, especially when all I want to do is make all the selfish decisions. I wonder how long it'll be before I finally accept everything and move on. But for now, all I have is faith. I know that deep down, I do love my family very much. It's just that things take time. Some, longer than others.

So as this Valentine's day come to an end, I'm leaving this week of love with the last love-esque photos.




love,
jans

Labels: Family, Reveries

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