Fun. What does it mean? To different people, it means differently. Sometimes, I feel as if my head is plagued by so many ideals of what is indeed "fun", that I lose it for myself. Of my eventful night, the best parts were the start and the end. The start because, I met the people that made my teenage-hood to send Kikin off to bright sunny Australia; it was fun, and most of all, meaningful. Despite the fact that a particular person was very very late, it was fun, to catch up, talk about life, try to fill in the space in everyone's heart. Laughing, talking, bringing up the past. The last part because it was nice to finally let out my heart's content, to actually face how I felt, under the stars of the late night sky, on the grass patch, facing Fullerton. It was awesome to share it with people who get it, and the relief of simply shouting their names into the depths of the night. A relief. Everything in between the start and the end then becomes superfluous.

Slowly, possibly, I'm starting to come to terms with my life as I know it. Family, friends, love. Slowly, the thought of losing the ones who mean most to me, start to hurt less. Slowly the very nature of my friendship with people who really mean a lot to me, dawns on me. Maybe, true to my character, everything's just in my head. I slowly feel like I'm losing people around me, and I'm beginning to realise that the prospect of flying solo is real. What ought I do? I have yet to discover what path lies ahead of me.

I'm lost, and I just wish there was someone to just point me to the right direction so I can go.

I'm grateful, for Firqin. I'm grateful for Alexis. I'm grateful that they were there when I finally cried. Grateful.

Right now, I just wished I felt grateful more often. Thankful.

Labels: Life as it happens, Reveries

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