Wheresoever you go, go with all your heart.

Friday, August 29, 2008 @ 19:03

Silence is easy..

I swear its weird.

Sometimes I wonder to myself, if this feeling of uneasiness will ever go away. Maybe I'm just incapable of being at one place for a very long time, being with the same people all the time either.

I never thought we'd have moments of silences. Awkward silences. I didn't pre-empt this. Not when we were younger, smiling like complete idiots; planning futures together, of a house to call our home. Each of us, being part of each others' lives, always.

Does it happen all the time? Will it happen every time?

Will it be that one day, I just feel so far apart from everyone I once knew - an emptiness that strangles me inside. It pains me to think that this is something that's gonna be constant in my life.

I know this just seems so freaking emotional - what a weird way to start my blogging after a hiatus of some sort. I just had to get it out of my system, you know? It just plain sucks, when I think about all these kinds of things.

Sometimes I think that my friendships are like a shallow kick-ass huge aquarium. Vast, but not deep at all. Sometimes. And being as airy-fairy as I am, its a hard thing to accept. In my head, all I want is for everything to be picture perfect. When will I realise that life, just doesn't function that way?

Everything's changing. And fast. Why do I feel like I'm stuck behind, all the time?

(Do I sound depressed all the time? Cos I'm pretty sure I'm not. I'm just... contemplative? Hahaha)

I can't believe I managed to not blog, for.... well a long enough time. Its not that I'm gonna be blogging all time now either. Here and there. A lot of thing's been happening, since. Though some things, just never change. School's no better. My life's in the oh-my-god-what's-happening-wait-i-never-saw-that-coming kind of mode. Not that anything horrid's been happening, just that, half of the time, I feel that way.

Don't get me wrong though - life's good. Friends like mine, make everything a whole lot better. No matter how angry I am at some people, how claustrophobic I feel, how sad I am, I can always depend on Jo's inner bitch, Kwoi's ardent listening and Chee's quirky (haha, i took it from you Kay!) 1000 faces to make me feel better. A whole lot. They may not see inside my head, or realise some things, but altogether, I couldn't ask for anything better.

Let me backtrack a little. (WHILST i'm posting, i'm like on a Starsailor binge. I was soooo into them last time. Gaah, dang they're a great band)

YESTERDAY (friday) was Teachers' Day celebrations at school. We had the whole concert and stuff. It was different, in the sense that I didn't put in any effort for it - no cookies/cakes/hand-made thingies. It was just, weird. We had Aces day first - which was fabulously funny, due to Peng Soon's teaching methods. Okay, at least for the while that I was there, it was good. I was quite unhappy that i was robbed of my Aces Day. I mean, I thrive on this kind of shit, but well I had to go prepare for House's performance for the concert. Rated FT (: It was interesting. I mean for the rest of us i.e the non-sc, we've been like staying back the past three/four days in the CC, just re-running our performance (The SC's been doing this waaaaaaaay longer than we have) But it was so fun. Like we had loads of shitless fun - despite the cranky moods, the divided attentions, the lack of focus here and there. I mean when we play, we play hard.( NOW THAT's a mark of a saint). I mean the screams of "Gong Jiao", the ever-so-talented Cat. High boys a going "oi" whenever you say that (it's a cheer), us screaming like groupies during rehearsals despite already seeing them for the fifth time - ALL going into my memory box.

House did a poem skit-y thing and a song. Me and anthony sang as lead and i swear i forgot to come in at my cue. There was a 2 second lag or some sort between my part and his, and bestflends totally caught me! OMG LAH. After reminding myself NOT to forget. Hahaha. ~~Totally Anthony's fault lah for switching our parts on that morning itself!~~ Who am i kidding again?! Hahahaha (: I was reminded tens of thousands of times! Hahaha, anyways the other performances were good (I know how to say JIA YOU, but how do you say like... GOOD JOB! Lol) GOOD JOB everyone! hahaha. I must say, even if some things screwed up (sound system etc) don't be disappointed okay! I mean it, it was good job and full of great EFFORT and I hope that no one is left discouraged! SMILE all!! I don't have no pictures but i know SOMEONE might have! (*STARES AT ANKAY!*)

AFTER the whole school celebrations, i went back to cedar. Not at all surprisingly, it felt sooooo different. I mean, it isn't our school (location wise) so yeah, no memories there, at all. No pangs of nostalgia. Weird. BUT it was still good to meet the people and everything! Like go crazy meeting all the ol'friends!! (: Met the kings and its the first time in a damn long it was the 6 of us. In full. I came back in blue, and somehow it felt great, being a cedarian, again.

Kings went out (WITHOUT uma, sadly) and well we had ramen ten at far east. OMG. RAMEN TEN. We ate soooooo bloody much, i really thought i ate a cow! Amanda ate a spicy miso don (i think?), Yirong ate her usual salmon dry ramen, syaf & I ate a Spicy chicken karage ramen and sof ate super spicy ramen. "Uma" ate a scallop+oyakuchicken+prawn bento, california maki and prawn mayo. YUM! hahaha, okay, "UMA" was well me and sofia - we shared that whole portion in half. Never have i spent $40 bucks on food at a place where it actually comes quite cheap! HAH! but the bill was split, so the hole in my pocket was tiny-er.

AFTER eating so much, we were so contented. You know the OH-GOD-this-feels-so-great feeling - we felt soo yummed up we were sleepy. Walking around town like lethargic idiots. So we headed to Borders to chill - and well i fell asleep. FOR AN HOUR man! Gaah, i love the kings for being so nice!!! After tht we had some cake at STARBUCKS and like camwhored. Sofia kept on taking stalker-esque pictures!! hahahaha.

TUESDAY (26TH?) was service learning day! For the most of the cohort, their service learning activity falls on that day, but for the oheightasstwentysix, that day was just a dry run. The real deal's on the 4th of september! Yeah, we cool like that yo. (Okay, i so fail at rapper talk) For S.L, our class is doing a children's camp for dyslexic kids and all, and though its quite tedious, tiring and stressful (for me!), I'm very sure its all worthwhile. We had the dance thing, I mean its super SUPER children-ish - but when you're doing it with actual kids, I'm sure it'd be very FUN! We went down to queenstown primary, and my golly, we camwhored a LOT too!! And guys can be such camwhore - they're all in denial, that's all!

I think I may have been a wee bit annoying during the dry run part - faking to be a participant, but I must say I was quite funny that way! (Oh gosh, self-praise is such a sin!) Hahaha, I hope the rest of the class is gonna have fun, and well they'd like totally learn stuff, and well I hope the class bonds!! Togetherness is like fabulous!

This class has been through so much. Really. The fun times were absolutely great. But we've experienced some lows, here and there. Some not liking each other, a clash of personalities - yet we try our best to come out on top. Words can't be used to tell you how much I love this class, and all I want is for us to be a tight-knit family. I mean, we've reached an age where we should grow up, accept things for the way the are, accept people despite their flaws and not to mention realise that we ourselves aren't perfect. I don't want there to be a time where the class CANNOT sit down and have fun and just go crazy. It happens to everyone, but with this bunch, I pray these things don't happen. At all.

08S26 with twenty-six people.

andrea.andrina.anqi.esther.delia.karan.jannah.luqman.natasha.marissa.xunqi.sweeney.chintau.

chester.haresh.cheeyang.crosby.arihant.jeg. nitin.zenda. imma.sinyee.joel.eunice. samuel.

It couldn't get any better than this, could it?

ONE of the days there was SAJC open house. Which was damn bloody funny and stress, cos i had to run from choir to MCS (I love mcs!!! heh, we crazy malay shitzus.) We had like fun, and i brought my camera - the new one! Its so love! Anyhow, there was project saintsway -where each cca had reps and they modeled their cca uni or some sort. It was funny!

I also realised like OMG lah, the people coming to our open house like going clubbing or something. I mean, these sixteen year olds are starting to look a lot older than me!! ): hahaha. growing up fast, much?

A whole lot of other stuff has been happening, like the clique went to eat at manhattan's fish market! YUMMY! That was fun! We hadn't gone out like that in AGES!! (: There was also the.....lemme see... oh class photo taking, which was great, i mean we got photos besides the actual photos! Oh i mentioned a new camera right? Well the other day we went to pick it up (isa, me, mar and fadhil) cos i needed some company - didn't want to meet some random shits guy alone right? It was totally funny, all the things we came up with! And to thank ISA for accompanying me, he made it through being the FIRST picture i took! (: National Day was good too! I was the emcee, and well I don't think I was very good - but well everything fell into place! Besides that, THE bestestest part of the event was definitely the fashion show! I mean some people are just so goddamn funny! IT WAS great, seeing all the creations of the different Saints, and all the drama-mamas! Jeg was fab and in my heart he was a winner!! (: Well I really think the House did a fantabulous job!! Our second successful event!! RAPTURE 2008 was oh so damn good. I lost my voice screaming for my favourite person on stage - CHEE of course. And wow, you never realise how some people can really shake it on stage, looking at them in school! Surprises everywhere! P.E is like the official favourite subject - from ACES day pracs to "gym"! Talking about gym, the whole gang is into OLYMPICS! God, you can't believe how many people there are in China till you watch the olympics! WE LOVE GYMNASTICS!! (: heh! CHOIR FAREWELL was on national day celebrations - it was fun! I mean when we were performing for the seniors, we weren't great - but our effort was top notch! I think i'd miss the seniors so much - don't know how we'd survive without them! There was so many other things that have been happening but well i think this post has been LONG enough!!! (HAHAH, i gave you a nutshell view of what's going on in life!)