Before I fall too fast
Kiss me quick, but make it last
So I can see how badly this will hurt me
When you say goodbye

Keep it sweet, keep it slow
Let the future pass, and don't let go
But tonight I could fall too soon
Into this beautiful moonlight

But you're so hypnotizing
You've got me laughing while I sing, you've got me smiling in my sleep
And I can see this unraveling
Your love is where I'm falling, but please don't catch me

See this heart won't settle down
Like a child running scared from a clown
I'm terrified of what you do
My stomach screams just when I look at you

Run far away so I can breathe
Even though you're far from suffocating me
I can't set my hopes too high
'Cause every hello ends with a goodbye

But you're so hypnotizing
You've got me laughing while I sing, you've got me smiling in my sleep
And I can see this unraveling
Your love is where I'm falling, but please don't catch me

So now you see why I'm scared
I can't open up my heart without a care
But here I go, it's what I feel
And for the first time in my life I know it's for real

But you're so hypnotizing
You've got me laughing while I sing, you've got me smiling in my sleep
And I can see this unraveling
Your love is where I'm falling so please don't catch me

If this is love, please don't break me
I'm giving up so just catch me

Labels: One Last Song, Reveries

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WOW. AIYA. It's 3:33am AND NO MATTER what anyone tells me, i can't help but feel a little depressed. I'm sorry.

1) My parents went ballistic on me recently. If you know why, FINE I DON'T BLAME THEM LAH. In all honesty.. I was stupid so yeah.

2) THE RESULT of their ballistic-ness IS that I feel like as if my freedom is slowly slipping from me. Which is why I'm like super depressed. HAHA fuck me and my melodrama lah. Its just that I feel like when I was in secondary school again, having my mom check on me and talking to my friend to "verify". Fking, retarded. Period.

HAHA. Right now, I'll hate anyone partying or having any sort of fun. On sight. COS i'm that jealous.

See that's the thing.

lemme give you an example.

EXAMPLE: I WANTED TO GO FOR AVALON.

See, hearts and I wanted to go for avalon. THEN by some miracle of god, we decided... nyah. Might as well not. I MEAN, I had the freedom to choose whether I wanted to or not, and we thought, we shouldn't, so FINE.

BUT NOW

I can't. And that makes all the difference. At the last minute, I thought "eh, but it might be fun" BUT THEN I remembered, "OH YA I FKING CAN'T" and suddenly the desire to go surges up by at least 500%.

hahahahh fuck me lah, I'm so melo drama.

SO YA HERE I AM. WISHING I WAS AT MBS RIGHT NOW, at this moment. BUT NOOOO. so yeah.

disclaimer: It is almost 4 am in the morning so have mercy on me.

Funny how life works, ain't it?

Labels: Life as it happens

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You go through rough patches sometimes. It's what they didn't tell you, when you handed over the consent form. But you over come them, regardless. Because, it's always worth it. If it's worth having, it's worth fighting for.

My brother just flew off to brighter pastures. It's the first time ever that I sent a sibling off, and I didn't shed a tear. It's definitely due to the fact that I'm beyond proud of him, elated for him, excited for him - too many positives to shed a tear. (OKAY, i did cry at some point. a few days ago. when i found out. whatevzz) It's amazing, I think. He's finally got his break. Reminds you, nothing is Impossible. Nothing.

I have dam full of emotions that I can't seem to put my finger on.

For you who enjoyed your monday, yes you.. i'm very happy for you. i honestly really am.

I feel..

still have to figure that out. Till then..

Labels: Family, Life as it happens, Reveries

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it's never a good thing if I have Adele's "First love" on repeat.

Labels: Reveries

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"...Henry appears, doing up his cuff links. He's wet, dirty, and unshaven. He looks about forty. But he's here, and he gives me a triumphant smile as he walks through the doors of the church and down the aisle."~Clare

"That's what I love you for: your inability to perceive my hideous flaws."~Henry

"I realize that I have forgotten my present Henry in my joy at seeing my once and future Henry, and I'm ashamed. I feel an almost maternal longing to go solace the strange boy who is becoming the man before me."~Clare

"This is why I love to be drawn by Clare: when she looks at me with that kind of attention, I feel that I am everything to her."~Henry

"I never wanted to have anything in my life that I couldn't stand losing. But it's too late for that. It's not because you're beautiful and smart. I don't feel alone anymore. Will you marry me?"(Henry) "No. I didn't mean that. I just wanted to try it, to say it, to assert my own sense of free will, but my free will wants you"(Clare)

"I wouldn't change one second of our life together."~Clare



I have finally completed my prelims. Honestly,I am kinda unsure as to how I would fare. It was highly challenging and well I wouldn't say that I was the most prepared person either. Sigh. I'm pretty glad it's over. When you know you could've done better, if you hadn't procrastinated et cetera, sitting through your exam is like going through immense torture. It's like it taunts you with the fact that you could do the paper, just not as well as you can. As mr peh said, "can means can, cannot means cannot". To think the next batch.. is the real deal. A Levels.

Obviously examinations are far from the reason why I opened this browser in the first place.

Today was challenging. Everything about it.
It made me question who I really am as a human being. Made me wonder what sort of person I am.
So many things that we talked about, left me scared, worried, and down right sad.
And lost yes, very lost.
I think it has much to do with me overthinking, but I keep wondering if.. If.. oh what if.
I am lost.

I just wanna be a kid again, where the world was simple, technicolor. Sit on the swing and look up into the sky, feeling like you're flying and that nothing else matters. Feeling awe and wonder for the world around you.

Yes. I need that swing.

Labels: Life as it happens, Reveries, School

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Wow. This year's Aidilfitri has really been one of the worst ones ever. Especially when I go on Facebook and see the many many photos of my friends, enjoying the festivities with their families, and loved ones. I haven't had a proper Hari Raya in years; big life-changing decisions are truly, life-changing. Coupled with the fact that Hari Raya falls in the midst of prelims, and that two of my siblings are in totally different continents, and the very fact that my mother's family is in Malaysia.. well there isn't much celebrating going on. What scares me is well, I wonder what will happen of the years to come? When I grow older, will I lug my family to Malaysia to meet my cousins? When my grandmother passes on, who will keep my family together? I have a huge huge family, but the ties that bind us has loosened, quite a bit. And what about my own direct family? Will my kids have their cousins to play with? Will they be excited to visit their grandparents? With my family strewn all over the world.. I kinda can't help but wonder how the future will be like.

I don't want my kids to grow up, unaware of their roots and culture. I mean Eid in itself is Muslim, and you can find Islam no matter where you go in the world. But HARI RAYA that's a manifestation of the Malay culture. No matter how much I'll insist I am Chinese, I am too Malay, and I do not deny that. I'm proud to be apart of this race and culture filled with traditions, vibrancy, everything. There's so much beauty in it, that many overlook due to the erosion of the Malay people under the social lens. I mean, yes, we are reminded everyday that the Malay people seem to be at the pit of society and that many problems that plague our society today - teenage pregnancies, druggies, etc - also seem to plague a great number of those of the Malay race. But in the midst of all this ratatata, lies a beautiful culture. The clothes, the colours, the hospitality, the kindness - all of which is embedded into being Malay. I don't want my children to be ignorant of this. I want them to have the things I had, experience what I experienced, and so much more.

Fingers crossed.

Labels: Life as it happens, Reveries

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