One word - Interesting
I swear. That's all I can say to sum up this week. Like I said, school hasn't been perfect, but the varying individuals in school just make life a teensy bit more fun. Like playing mind games such as Johnny johnny woosh.... HOW MANY MEH-MEH... I'm going to the party what shall I bring... AROUND THE WORLD IN EIGHTY DAYS... Black Magic! And not to mention people like Hayati, Nicholas, Jeremy, Asyraf, Wengweng, Robson, Amirah, Cliffton, Sak and other drama peeps - making the days go by faster(:

Had my History test today. Studied my best-ish, and well sitting with Aleena for the last hour definitely helped out. We were bouncing ideas off each other, which i must say is really damn fun. Lol I think I was all hyped up by the time history tutorial came which was an hour before the test. HEH, i was wheeeeeeeeeeeee. I hope we do okay.

Still not everything was all sunshine.

If anything, I've learned so much from my bitter experiences. Really. People, they never cease to amaze you. To think I was once so quick to defend them all, so darn quick. "you give them an inch, and they beat you with a yardstick". I totally give up on it, I won't pursue it further, let alone care anymore. It's great to have spoken to my kakak, she puts things into perspective - sometimes you realise the people you trust are not who they really are, and what you thought once was just plain isn't. No more. I cannot put myself in that position nor do I want to have such people in my lives. Argh. To think, to think.

Anyways, there are quite a number of breaks here and there, with Labor Day tomorrow, E-learning on the 5th, 11th for Vesak.. I'm gonna study and have fun yo.

Catch ya in a jiffy. back to top?

I FEEL great!

Lord only knows why! Well I'm having a great time so far - not perfect, but close! I'm happy to say that I won PESA (: I'm super grateful for the support! I know things aren't 100% perfect, what with my mobile phone sent for repair, my HISTORY test retest tomorrow, and shiz, but well, I must say, I'm feeling fabulous about things! Even my time spent with friends feel great too - which reminds me, THANKS BUCKETS sian pei for following me to send my phone to the doctors, and watching me play about 10mins worth of resident evil on the PS3 available at WISMA! :D It was damn fun, trying to coordinate my head with the controller buttons!

Even drama today was pretty fun, listening to Cliffton's mp3 with him and mouthing the words like we were ROBBIE WILLIAMS! hee!!!!

I put up yesterday's match photos on Facebook! Album 1 & Album 2 :D

Oh well, I'm off! Adios. Hopefully the weeks to come are way sweeter. back to top?

By the way.. totally looking forward to XMEN Origins and..



(: back to top?

HEE... today is a pretty great

You have NO idea how great it feels when you can strike out so many assignments off your to-do list. DAMN it feels fab. It was a draggy bitch day today but hanging out with HEARTS makes things much more fun - in the library (: Anyways - finished 2 of K's assignments, 1 Wuthering Heights assignment, and 1 Maths tutorial! WOOTS. By the way, I got kicked out of class for the first time ever in my life. HAAHAHA, it wasn't the best thing to have happened to me, but well, I give myself thumbs up for not even copying work like SOME people. Argh. But we had fun doing maths in the library. woots.

Still have ONE MORE ASSIGNMENT to complete. GEEPEE.

Another thing - there was the ACJC vs SAJC rugby group match. Watching the crowd, you'd think its finals or something! HEEH. I mean I saw the ever favourite numero THREE (which btw, reminds me, SINCE WHEN IS YOUR JERSEY 3?!) heh! And well, i think it was an interesting match, though I only got to watch about HALF of it. Blame drama, BUT i must say, drams was kinda fun, especially me pretending to be Brighella with Ilona! WOOTS, all that hormones! ahaha (:

So.. well some pics of the past few days and shiz (:







HEH. will put up rugby pics soon! Hope tmr is as fab as today! back to top?

Kick off your Sunday shoes..

Woah, its 8pm already! Dang. Anyways, didn't go to school today - woke up with a horrid fever cum headache. I think it's because I didn't sleep properly, but oh well. I spent like 2 bloody hours at the Polyclinic - which by the way, don't bother going to the Sengkang one, bloddy slow! - and well returned my library books, paid my fines, bought $50 worth of groceries for me! AND well, I came home attempted to study, and went to sleep. Woke up and studied and fell back asleep. The worst part - i have tonnes of things to hand up tomorrow. But it's okay, if i can change my freaking blogskin, I'm sure I can do this (:

"ma-ma-ma-myyyyyyyyyyyyyyy sharronaaaaaaaaa!"

yes I'm still VERY much into that song! back to top?

You say "I only hear what i want to"....



*clapclapsnapsnap*


I'm having a bitching weekend. HAHA. Well, it actually went pretty well. My wallets officially EMPTY. like doubleyouteeeff. But either ways its good. I mean sunday wasn't as fab as saturday or friday for that matter, but it's all good. OTHER than the fact that I'm struggling as we speak, studying for History tomorrow. I mean, I don't know. On one hand, I think I'll be fine, but on the other, its YOONG. dang..


I love the song on the youtube vid. Its soo old school, but it reminds me of the better times - when i was a kid and the '90s was just whizzing past!

Just a little day-by-day:

Friday:
Went to NLB Bishan, borrowed books and stuff.
Watched FAST & FURIOUS 4 (which i totally heartheart) with my daddy. hee.

Saturday:
Went out with the drama peeps, for godknowswhatreason, but enjoyed lunching!
Hung out with Harith for the longest time ever!
Met Adel and slept over at her place!

Sunday:
Spent most of the day doing Learning fest things with A07 at Jodie's place.


Man, i have to get back on track. The past 3 weeks i think I've been taking my life so chill-ly. I need to concentrate yoyo! ARH. It feels so boring and mundane, but you gotta do what you gotta do. Hang in there all (: Gotta get my head in the game. hee. back to top?

Like a whirlwind

A lot of things have been happening recently - but still a lot of things to do too! HAHA i'm just happy that I had managed to meet my deadlines, and hope to keep that up. for now..

1. went to Icecream chef!
2. Got to PESA finals.
3. stuck in a labyrinth. figuratively.

toodles (: back to top?

I od-ed on Petronas Ads. I swear, you have no idea what commercials are till you watch the Malaysian ones. For some of the anti-malaysians, you've got to give it a chance. Of many things the Malaysians have done, this is one thing they do right all the damn time. Even the Family commercials by the MCYS - you know the one on tvmobile, an indian woman giving a speech at her husband's funeral etc, are directed by Yasmin Ahmad, the Malaysian director.

Singapore could use ads like theirs, really.

this is one, a commercial created to try to stop racism in Malaysia in lieu of their National Day.




lovelove(:

will feed you more someday! back to top?

my try at normalcy

You know, it just occurred to me that the font on my blog is freaking TINY. Sirius seh. Haha, like the many words that stick to my head, "sirius" is one of them. I can't help it, but well, I know it'll stop in about...a week or less. (:

Anyhow.. life's been really up-and-down-y. But well, as the Kaiser Chiefs say, "stick and stones and animal bones....there's good days, and bad days". I don't know, life's been..interesting.

It's hard sometimes, you know. I know nobody said that it was going to be easy, but well, I can't help but wish it was just a little kinder. Hmph. That's just how life is, eh? Something I never thought I'd go through now of ALL times, would be the whole finding my self thing. I mean, sometimes, I'm unsure of myself, my identity, my being altogether. I know its totally egocentric, but sometimes, I feel like people are watching me, and waiting to see my next step. Do i fall and fail? Or rise and succeed? I don't mean literally watch, but you know, that irky feeling. After 17 years in this world, you'd think I've already found my sense of self, and identity. You'd think I wouldn't be disturbed by what others think of me, and would've thought I've grown up. Sometimes, I feel far far far from it. Amazing, huh?

Of the many things I don't know, I do know somethings. I'm so not cool, and I'm kinda okay with that. Its not like I'm running around to the latest parties, drinking my butt off and all, and really, I'm perfectly fine with that. I'm really a noob/geeky loser. Heh. And sometimes... I'm happy being that way (: But well, in the heat of moments, I do wanna let loose and have fun. So.. I guess that's what drives me to the wall of confusion. I think cos I'm a bit too.. fun-loving. I really love a good time, no matter what that means. It could mean reading a book with a cup of milo, or going out watching movies, or going to the beach or chitchatting at bus-stops till late night, or playing magic8 ball on Iphone, or walking around town, or picnics at botanic gardens. Whatever it means, I really really, really love it. Which is bad. Bad cos sometimes, I forget my limits.

Haix. Must remember to study too eh. I haven't been studying hard. Arh. Makes me unhappy to think that. Really jan, isn't it enough you're back at square one?

Hee. On that note, don't worry, I'm just apprehensive. Not depressed or anything (:

Wah piang. So much to do. A geepee essay that was due a week ago. A speech for PESA. More Soviet Union to study. More Southeast Asia to study. An act to analyse. A height to wuther. A binomial distribution tutorial to complete. And not to mention, to memorise my lines to precision. Precisely.

Oh well, at least I'm in school, I'm fed and clothed, I'm fortunate and very much alive. Thank God.

Which reminds me, I've been very very distant from God recently. I guess that's what causes the tonnes of questions etc. Note to self: pray, and always remember to turn to God.


Ciao!

P/S: SAJC Dance got Gold. YAYZERS (: back to top?

Happy COLOURS make for happy people.

Anyways...

As much as I wanna say I care about it, I frankly don't (anymore). Blown away by the wind. Washed away by the seas. I just want my life to reach a certain level of normalcy that I can handle well. Anyways, I had a somewhat great day at school today. I mean, H1 math was pretty fruitful. LOL - chitchat with haYATI and laughed at Wengweng's bonding session with Ms Wong. HAHA, the boy damn poor thing, today might not be the best day for him! But its okay... a rainbow only appears after a storm, so patience, friend is a virtue. I had FOUR darn hours free, but it wasn't all bad - chatted&chitted, planned tomorrow's ALTERNATIVE PROG. FOR MUSLIM STUDENTS and well, spent 1-on-1 time with the computer in the library editting slides!! :D And had the PESA thing which was fun-ish, really (:

I don't know, when push comes to shove, I need to suck it ALL in and let it all go. But sometimes you forget and get lost in the drama. I need people like Amirah and Adel to keep me grounded ((: I spent so much time with Adel yesterday - fabulous. We never get enough of each other's company, I swear. Even at Cedar last time we'd spend too much time with each other, still needing more time. But I'm in a boo mood cos she can't go for the vesak weekend trip. *sobs*

You know, its funny how conflicts arise, in situations you least expect it. Funneh. I mean, it happens to everyone and anyone, and it helps when you know you're not alone. Grazie grazie grazie.

Sometimes, when you feel like giving up, all it takes is one more push.

<3 back to top?

BOO. My stalker has a name - Mr Bad Luck.

I swear. One thing after the other just pops up. *POPpop* In a way, its just depressing, but on the other hand its just annoying. I mean, siriusly? LOL. Please, I meant for it to be pronounced like the name of Potter's godfather. Boo...Seriously guys? Aichooo.

Well anyways, this is how its been since ROMANIS won sports day...
-Met ameerah and did the madrasah project. Uber cool fyi.
-Went for drama, madrasah, chalet@Aloha Loyang & met Adel, all in ONE SATURDAY.
-Lazed around whilst the masses celebrated the resurrection of Jesus.

Well, not as fruitful as I'd have imagined it, but its sufficiently/adequately/MERELY reaching my weekend goals.

So due to the lack thereof of Drama sessions (FOR ME!) I went for this talk/lecture at SMU, by...Professor Quelch, regarding democracy and marketing; one of the business thingys that adel dragged me into, but I quite found my mind nurtured, so it wasn't all that bad! HEE (: Tomorrow there's the plain english speaking thingy.

Anyways, for the coming vesak day weekend, I was planning a trip to KL for my chicas, but like ONE of them is in deep need of her deepthought(overthinking) & paranoic bone! Sirius! I really hope all three of us can make it. I mean, as much as I'dd love the company of either of them, the THREE of us is GREAT!!!!! :D

Boo.
plus, there are some other miscellaneous stuff that is biting at me at school. Ohvells.

life's hard, therefore life! back to top?

Thankful and grateful, yearning for more

I am indeed very very thankful and grateful for what I've received - almost a stronger person I am than I was last year, especially so academically. The PW grade, was icing on my cake, my only wish was that it was passed all around. God's made me a stronger person now, and hopefully helped me be a more hardworking person.

For that, thank you

Its 2 am in the morning, and here I am, crying watching my ever most fave series - 90210. I love love love it, I really do. And well, partially, there's a sub-plot in the story that tugs at my heart strings.


Godbless yo~ back to top?

Oh boy, oh boy.

Right now, there's too many things going on in my mind right now, I think my brain's gonna freeze. Like seriously.

Two things I'm darn worried about. One is a situation that shouldn't have happened - totally the consequences of my dull brain - and another, something that's gonna happen; I'll tell you, PW RESULTS. Having BOTH of them in my brain for now, is well, stoopid.. I just can't think straight, and seriously I think I shall go into an anxiety attack.

The thought of tomorrow being the result of all my blood, sweat and a lot of tears, is simply killing me. I shudder, simply thinking of the possible outcomes. Really. I think I really put in my heart and soul into it - I will cry need the outcomes be unfavourable. Oh God, help me. In the light of so much fear, salvage me and liberate me.

To top it off, I have that to think about):

Worried. Scared.

oh boy, here we go again. back to top?

c



Photos as promised

Alrighty. This is me, RANDOMLY musing - so don't bother reading, I just needed a medium to pour my thoughts out, but it's nothing of any importance; at least no to anyone else but me.

Yesterday there was drama, and today there was drama. Because I am practically USELESS for those scenes, I spent my time thinking, and all I could think about was life with him - all the loveliness of it all. It is just my ultimate favourite thing to day dream about. On the long ride home today, I spent the bus ride with my eyes closed dreaming about things. Honestly, I would usually knock my head silly, but really, its the only thing I get to dream about nowadays, and though its so surreal, it just puts me in a dimension, totally away from all the drama I'm used to - WHICH is great. I need some calm, and well, it does give me calm and hope..

Thinking about getting picked up from school by him, driving around together, sharing our dreams and aspirations, kissing him goodnight as he drops me off, resting on his shoulder whilst seeing the sun set - simple things like just being together, holding hands - it sends swarms of butterflies into my stomach. Excitement, surely. Definite? Never. I mean, its all just mere day dreaming on my part, but whether something would materialise.. let's just say, it takes 2 hands to clap. But a girl can dream eh?

Why him? What makes him so yearned for? I have no idea. The prospect of a HIM is just so... different. I don't know, it comes together with hope - that life does change, with time..that things can be different. I don't have a him, or have him, but I'm honest when I say I get quite excited thinking about Him.

The perfect utopic world I draw up in my head just seems so perfect. PERFECT. But there's no such thing as perfection. I don't know - a world where trust exists, and faithfulness, and also, most of all, me having a difference.

Why do you keep dreaming and dreaming jans?

I feel a little out of place sometimes; I think its temperamental. Its like I don't belong. That might be why I'm totally out of it sometimes. grr.



on other things

you stoops jans, how could your mulut be so gatal. bodoh.
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It feels like months has passed instead of days

Wow. I really honestly feel like *zoomzooom* time just flew past me. Or dragged past me, on the contrary. Considering I feel like SO MUCH has happened in a matter of a FEW days!!! hee (:

Well, if you were wondering.. the Lumos Concert went pretty alright! I know there were people who enjoyed it, and in the end of the day, that is honestly what I value most. If YOU enjoyed it, that's all that matters! No matter how tak glam I might have been - CANNOT BELIEVE I STUCK MY TONGUE OUT ON STAGE! - or if I was a little pitchy (>.<), or if I didn't think I did very well; my friends who supported me really made it all worth it. Braving through all that nerves and fear was worth it!





Anyways, picked up Red and sent Lukman and Adel to the MRT station - then the three of us went homehome! ((:

Saturday - woots. It was, eventful-ish. Well, after finding out that drama got cancelled (Seriously. boo mans.) K was really pissed. And well scolded girls (myself included) whom she blamed for "being the reasons drama got cancelled" cos we went for her class instead. Wah siol, mama drama man. Anyways, well, that wasn't the sweetest experience, but LIVE and LEARN right?? MOVING ON. Ended SUPER early, so went to macs for breakfast with Wengkeong, Emma, Julianne, Nicholas, Reshveen, Alex, JT, Amy & Fats.. (did i leave anyone out?) YUMMYUMM I mean a good hearty breakfast cures all heartaches. HEE. Well then Amy, Fats and I went on and on and on bitching discussing our way about the earlier events! HAHA. Poor others, having to endure our conversation. Then waited with Nicholas & Julianne AND Z-BOY for Syaf, Sof & Worm, for a little yummy PPmacs and well bonding!

Went with SOF & Syaf to Dhoby & ate cakes and had tea at Tea Cosy @ Eclectic Attic! YUMMERS! Then stalked Sofia home where we talked about the MOST INTERESTING of things *winks* all the night long!! HAHAA. We're growing HORNS I swear!!! tsktsk!

Sunday, well, spent that at AJC Family Day, meeting Sofs and stuff - stalking the guy she likes around school so i can finally see who, meeting her friends, etc etc. It was fun ((: hee. Ended with late lunch at Bishan's Pastamania!! YUMMERS!!!

photos soon! ((:

Great weekend! HOPEFULLY, even greater one now! *cross fingers* back to top?

back to top?

Is it so hard to be happy??

I just went blog-hopping - it felt like I ventured across cities, countries, continents. And well, it just left me thinking: are people just lucky, or is happiness really NOT that hard to attain? It left me really truly reflecting about my life, how I live it and all.

Honestly, I don't know if I'm truly happy. I really don't know. My moods move with the wind; its like a true Hollywood movie, my life, but not something you really want for your own. I don't know. Currently, at this moment, I'm really really sad. I don't know.. It makes me wonder is it just me? Teenagers in general? Is it angst? Is it upbringing? Do people of a certain race, gender, religion always seem to have it better? Or is it just an innate need to be miserable?

Partly, it's definitely got something to do with discontentment - being hard to please, doesn't put you in the running for happiness.

Today, was a truly testing day - honestly. By GP lesson, I was so worn that I wanted to cry - how ironic is it that we were discussing the issue of Family. Like I was saying, when I was blog-hopping, it made me realise that the truly(seemingly so) happy people are those with a strong family unit. Like Amy - reading her blog just struck a chord, in places I thought ceased to exist. It made me yearn for what I have but forgotten, had but lost.

Its been almost a whole year since I've met my sister - we keep in contact, definitely. Video chat, whats nots. But I really miss those times where it was just us - you, my kakak, and me, your adik. I remember as a child (I was the youngest, so instances of selfishness did occur) I was really angry at my brother-in-law, Chris; I felt that he took my sister away from me and well, I was also really really angry at my sister for leaving home at 17, and never turning back. Of course now I love Chris to bits - without him there won't be Chrisue or Lara. Still, you have no idea how much I miss her; miss those times we'd sing Britney together or dancing to AQUA in mum's room, when she visits. I guess the age gap between us really creates an insignificant wedge. Still, she's my sister. I love her dearly, even though she scolds me like she's my mom, tells me things I wouldn't want to hear from anyone, or is never around. I love her truly.

OKAY. omg. test my PATIENCE

Haix, really, today is like test my patience day. *testtest* Really. I woke up, NOT WANTING to go to school - which is normal for anyone my age generally - but I told myself I HAVE TO GO, to like enrich my mind body and soul, but well, its not really happening. Serious. I mean, other than the LOVELY history classes (at least I'm learning something), the other lessons are just mindfuck not cutting it for me. Right now, I'm just a little infuriated unhappy. I mean, really, my patience level can span several miles, but well, the addition of every little annoying thing happening just drives me to the edge of those miles.

fuck

OKAY, i didn't understand what I typed but I HOPE i just grow LESS angry sooon!!! )): boo. Anger makes jannah a very unhappy person, cos I'll just brooood in unhappiness. HEE.

On other things, the class just played a TINY prank on Zhou - they put a fake cockroach (that HAYATI is uber afraid of, by the way) in her Wuthering Heights text. HEEE- she screamed, we laughed and well, you know the drill.

AND also, I went to watch A WINTER'S TALE and CONFESSIONS OF A SHOPAHOLIC yesterday. WELL that altogether cost me.... $7.50! HEE. Cos the esplanade one was free (paid for by the school, bless their hearts!). Well, OF COURSE I MANAGED TO SEE ETHAN HAWKE. Woots. And Confessions had Hugh Dancy playing the hero, which was really fun.

May i say that Winter's Tale is really worth watching BUT it is probably a good thing if you try to a) get better seats that's not too high, cos DUH no mikes! or b) read a sypnopsis of the play or even read the play if you're damn on. So you know what's going on. AND WELL, for Confessions, it was SUPER WORTH WATCHING. Especially if you're a girl - JUST THROW away all your "this is demeaning of women" fancyshmancy ideals (everyone knows it already, so just get over yourself. hee) and WATCH it, with your girlfriends, or well that special someone. ITS not exactly accurate to the book,(WHICH book-turn-movie really is?) BUT I WALKED out feeling like it fulfilled my imaginations and expectations - they changed and took out the right amount of unnecessary details so much so that it stayed true to the book! YAYZERS. Or maybe it was all the Prada, Gucci, Henri Bendel's and Yves Saint Laurent that got me all high. DARN, every girl's dream ((:


OKAY so gotta run. SCHOOL's far from over for me. BOO. back to top?