Don't stop me now, i'm having such a good time, i'm having a ball..

yes, i'm living my Queen obsession, yet again. Gosh, Freddie Mercury is the SEX. Though he can't exactly be the sex for me, cos he wasn't exactly straight. EITHERWAY, he's sooooooo good. and so dead too. HAIX, talent dies out so fast. The coming generation will NEVER know what they missed.


Anyways, i'm not very happy with myself recently. I mean really.

If i was a true friend, we'd sit down, and i'd talk to you about it.

if i was a true friend, i wouldn't let these things slide.

if i was a true friend, i'd make it all better.

But now, its like i'm not bothered anymore, or its just that i've got no energy for it. That, or i can't seem to see the point anymore. At some time, it does make me feel like telling them, 'gosh, you're 17 already. grow up'. I totally get it - i'm not perfect or anything. But there comes a time when some way people behave just shove me back into secondary one - where if people behave the way they did, its hell lot more forgivable. HAIX. I used to have a lot of tenacity for doing this, making things better, solving problems.

But i swear, i've got no time for all these things.

I wish (well i was about to say i thought, but well its a bit to late for that now, aye?) that jc wasn't filled with any of this crap; the power struggles,pw, the bitchiness (and in all honesty, from me too. I've been extra extra bitchy of late, NEVER that way in secondary school. not this bad. haix.), pw, the assholes who don't think about anyone but themselves, pw, and wait did i mention PW?

i just want my jc life to be a fruitful one, without all that immature secondary school crap. really. I don't mind having fun and going nuts (we're still kids at heart after all) BUT there's a limit, that even i can tolerate. And i can tolerate a lot. I want to just study, have friends, enjoy, chill.. i mean really.

Sometimes i think the only reason i'm becoming more bitchy is because i'm around people who're just asking for it.

god, i hope its just a phase.

back to top?

There are so many things, thoughts, CURLY WURLYS (i've always thought about that, why CURLY WURLY, i mean how random is that "W"?? could've been ANY letter, but it was a W!) in my brain. But well somehow i comfort myself that if i get through this and work hard for what i need and want, maybe one day when i grow old and look back to my JC days, i'll totally laugh and love all the memories i have.

ONE day. FAR FAR awaaaaaaaaaaaay man that day.

if anyone asks my results are W E B D. hahaha, geddit? DOUBLE-U/W?? 2 U's -> DOUBLE u?? hahaha

ok, i'm high.
(: back to top?

Do you have a jersey, cos i want your name and number
Disclaimer: this will be a long long long post.
Before i get down to that, let me back track a little.
I met up with girlfriend the other day! :D Lol, she made me wait FOREVER. But it was worth it! We went back to Cedar, to collect our SGC (school graduating certificate) and her o's results (tsktsktsk). We even met E.T. Which was good for me but not exactly her cuppa. Anyways, after that we made our way out!!!

Being in the vicinity of the purple line, after much deliberation we went to... PLAZA SINGAPURA. hah. BIG shocker there! There was so much wishful thinking involved on our way to dhoby gaut.

"lets eat CHEESECAKE!!!" -says i

"ohoh and SUSHI SUSHI SUSHI too!!" -says she

"YEAH! and and and.. hmmm, i dunno we'll just eat eat eat!!" -says i

HAHAH, when we did get to PS, the jap/korean fair was still going on - YUM! we walked around and decided on some jap crepe.

STRAWBERRY CUSTARD AND CHEESECAKE ~ makes the custard sound like its strawberry flavored
STRAWBERRY CHESSECAKE AND CUSTARD ~ now it's like the cheesecake is strawberry flavored
CHEESECAKE, CUSTARD AND STRAWBERRY ~ aha! pass.

W e were trying different algorithms at naming our crepe (WHICH is pronounced more like CRAP than CREEP), and somehow none of the names felt that right. Haha, but we'll survive, i mean we've got a delish crepe to make up for the "unnameable" name. :D
Then we went into our favourite sushi place, CARREFOUR! Hahaha, okay we're a bunch of budget girls and having very VERY selected tastes. Our favourite sushi is CHUKA HOTATE gunkan (scallop). I mean it is the SEX. (: hahaha, oh and Tamago (Okay, we know you're probably scowling but TAMAGO is da bomb okay. I don't care what you say, just don't insult the Egg!), EBI and well we tried something different CHUKA KURAGE gunkan (jellyfish). yummy (:

After that the two of us decided to watch a movie, so we hopped into the earliest movie they had - RED CLIFF. Zomg, its a damn good movie, and i think everyone must watch it! It was quite funny, cos we both had curfews, she more so than myself- and like only halfway through the movie we realised its already 7pm! :O uhoh, we were like, omgomg, faster faster - YET still enjoying every part of the movie. The war scenes and so were like FUYOOOOOOOOH. heh!

EXACTLY when the movie ended, we literally ran out of the cinema. Cos she had to pee we rushed all the way to the toilet; after which we ran all the way to the mrt and DOWN THE ESCALATOR cos the train had arrived and was already about to leave!!! :D Its like one of those lucky times where you actually get to catch the dumb train when you least expect it!!

WE HAD A GREAT DAY - and well both of us reached home in time, so no problem there.

When i arrived home though, i had to rush through the GP research essay - which was like bleh cos i kept on falling asleep in front of the computer. It was a group essay, but there was less group involved - but its okay, i'm kinda used to it. As crazy as it might sound, i kinda LOVVVVVVVVE my gp topic, cos its of those things which really made myself think about the issue, its implications and so on, not simply somehting which i would've googled and like paraphrased what i read. So it was cool. (:

Commendation Day~

We had morning assembly at the CC, as usual for every friday. There was no chapel though cos it would've been held at the Cathedral instead - where commendation of the student council would be held. (Didn't i say i'm in a very VERY christian college? heh) So well when it was about time for the students to go and make their way to St Andrew's Cathedral, the muslim students had our "alternative programme". I must say its a lot more fun than our usual activities. :D We had the pyramid game (remember long time ago before MediaCorp there was TCS which had the same game hosted by some guy; i think the set was like very VERY purple) and it was in english for the benefit of the non-malay muslims. It was so fun! I mean you should see some of our kecoh-ness and gubra-ness (malay for excitement and noisy-ness). We were like stamping our feet and what not!

I had house meeting after, which was at 4.30pm, but i was done with school at about 12pm? SO guess what, this makes me super proud - i had like so much time to kill, i went to study! I did some math tutorials, and well i finished my rubbish GP stuff that i hadn't, and well, read some gp. HAIX the only thing that pisses me off was i forgot to put everything in the freaking pigeon hole! (blech.)

-_-"

heh. Oh well. adios muchachas!

love! back to top?

Inestimabile sacramentum....

I just got home with the rents!
There was our CHOIR concert today, the one mentioned earlier - i think its not simply about the actual concert, but i think the preps at the rehearsal room is what will stick in my memories the most. The ALTOS camwhoring with Hil's apple, chitchatting with the other choirs, make-up (love that i really do!) and listening to other choirs with impromptu pieces. ZOMG LAH, Hwa Chong Voices are like................woah. Like WOAH. Like Hilary mentioned, their "raw" piece is like our perfected piece. ZOMG, i was like blown away. And the tenor soloist. Wah. Gah. hahahahah i'm not gonna melt on my bed now, i'm not gonna melt on my bed now. *MELTS!*

And TJ was nice too! I love the whole Body Language piece, so fun! HEH. and WE SANG LOCUS ISTE for them. To my amazement, i remembered all the lyrics. I did lah. I was so proud. And of course in with lyrics come pitch, tone, etc - all of which i remembered! But our piece is like, SHORT. But still not badly done! :D

Our piece with the SCO was quite fun; the whole "aaaaa", "mmmmmmm", "Ooooo" and "Laaaa" - yeap, those were our "lyrics". But i still learnt so much from Dr Goh, and well he's really fun to be with and i'm so glad for this oppurtunity. I quite enjoy myself in choir now (:

Went to have some coffee with some mates, and well, my parents' picked me up from borders there - I managed to buy a book too! like 15minutes till the shop closes. I felt that i haven't touched a book in ages, so i had to do some reading. Get back into the habit.

I realised that maybe out of every 5 Singaporeans in the train, about 2-3 has a PSP - what Mr Tan calls the ASD (anti-social device). Its quite weird, like no one reads anymore. Oh well, times are fast changing, no?

oookay, its late - so i shall get a movin'!!

PEACE! back to top?

Good Morning BALTIMORE~

Okay, i know. We're not in baltimore. Oh, wells. Anyways, this is the first time in weeks where I woke up and the afternoon sun has yet to grace us with its presence. I.E. i woke up and its still morning!! (: Though, i figure its cos i did some sleep catching up; slept at 9sh?? Anyhow, i'm quite happy with myself. :D

And i've decided that today is a start of a NEW day, so nothing can break me down. I have NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOO one to go out with, so if i'm going to be stuck at home, i might as well do some work!! By the end of this weekend, i hope to finish some GP, maybe even some maths. *wishful thinking*

HAHA. oh well. Goodluck to me.

I've got a choir concert later at night. Yeap. Its a collaboration with Temasek Junior College, Hwa Chong Voices (the HCJC alumni choir) and my college's choir. We'll just be in ONE piece and it really isn't that hard. I just thoroughly enjoy this experience. I mean how many get the oppurtunity to perform with the Singapore Chinese Orchestra - whom I personally think plays beautifully. Heh. I'll enjoy myself.

lovelove! back to top?

Satu harapan

One hope. I've only got a flicker of hope, for things to change, to finally go MY way. Why in this world is it that things never happen the way i want it to? Life never really listens to me. My life is like the stubborn five year old that you see at the NTUC not wanting to put down the bag of sweets and listen to his mother. The mother being me, and the five year old being my life. I know, who am i to be ungrateful; God gave me so many things in life. But there are some things, things i've been wanting for years now, but these dreams refuse to come true.

Saya sedang tonton filem indonesia - "Butterfly", baru sahaja habis setengah filem itu. Saya memang gemar menonton filem indon - lebih-lebih lagi kalau filem romantis belia. Saya tidak tahu kenapa, tetapi sememangnya saya rasa amat gembira menonton filem sebegitu. Yang sangat mengelirukan adalah hampir kesemua filem-filem yang saya tontoni mempunyai jalan cerita di mana terdapat tiga pasang kawan karib - dua perempuan satu lelaki. Amat normal lah jalan cerita begitu.

But i am caught totally off-guard. I swear to god. Oh, my, lord. I love this movie. I mean despite it being a typical indon movie which drags at some parts, its totally nice; i mean, at the end, i was so, wow-ed. (the above paragraph is just about the movie and like my love for indon films)

Its not therapeutic at all, watching these films - they either leave me in a greater depth of misery than i previously was, or they're just so, lovely, which makes me envious. HAH. Yes anyone who knows me well enough would also know that i am THE hopeless romatic. They don't just use 'hopeless' for fun. I swear, really hopeless. I mean, i'm such a melt-into-a-puddle-of-goo kind of person. Which is why i am deeply envious of those in love.

Why why why is it that god built me this way, and yet my life refuses to follow the way i am built?

gah. back to top?

I don't worry cos, everything's gonna be alright

Gosh. Today was a really heart-pain day for myself. Like really. I was so super sad, i can't even begin to say. Maybe it's cos of a single thing, or maybe a compilation of many things - eitherway, i wasn't the happiest of persons. Even now, i feel so. blue. A true blue cedarian. (haha.)

But, thank goodness. I had a nice phone call with Isa (: He's so good to me, layan-ing me and all. Its these sort of friends that you need more in life. We haven't talked like that since.. sec three? So it was nice.

heh.

Gosh. i need to let this day pass. IF it helps, i really really wanna go shopping tmr. If only now i had someone to go with.

zomg.

how can i feel so alone, when i have so many friends?

haha.
love! back to top?

These words are my own, from my heart soul

The next part to those lyrics are I love you i love you i love you
Hahahah, okay, well natasha beddingfield's song These Words was the first song i heard when i was first in looooooooooove. HAH. or i thought i was. Though i really do love that song! Oh, and i can never hear chingy's "One call away" ever again cos it was HIS ringtone. It just brings back embarrasing memories. (-_-") heh.

Gahh.

Class had an outing on Sunday planned by YOURS TRULY :D and might i say it was a success. Despite SOME people not coming, and some people having prior engagements (which i so get, but the OTHER people. sob sob.) we still came out 20 STRONG. i think. YEAH. or 19? EITHERWAY, i think we had a goooooooooooooood time.

HAHAH, okay as i have previously mentioned, i baked lasagna and NEW YORK CHEESECAKE (one of the scrambled "code" words!); might i mention that i'm glad both came out in one piece, tasting utterly normal? I was so proud of myself. I slept at 4.30am baking the cheesecake and prepping the lasagna! gosh, i think i would have died, crumbled into a million pieces if it didn't come out right!

Went to sentosa late (of course) cos i didn't wake up early enough to finish the lasagna. My bad. should have woken up even earlier. BUT THE DADDY that i love soooooooo much came home to fetch me there! THANK GOD. So went there and met man and chintau who helped me carry everything, and met the others; mar, jeg, resh, crosby, xunqi, sinyee and sweeney. They waited on for Zenda whilst the seven of us made our way to vivo to take the monorail to SENTOSA!! kwoi, chee, imma, delia, eunice, nit all were already at PALAWAN beach (i recommend!! the best the best the best!) playing in the sea by the time we got there!!!! we set up a picnic mat and all the food and everything and once everyone has arrived we dug in!! CHEE kept on saying that he needed to squeeze back my head cos of all the compliments i was getting; the whole beach wasn't gonna be big enough to accomodate my bursting big head. hahaha well i'm not that kind lah, but i was mighty proud of myself. WE PLAYED IN THE SEA!!! AND also played in the sand. Did lotsa rubbish in the sea and well played beach volleyball (so fun!!), frisbee and soccer!

GOOD TIMES, GOOD MEMORIES.

gosh i needed this outing so bad, i was like fantasizing about it in my sleep the week before. I was more excited for it than so many other things i had going on. This is prolly cos well i kinda am in love with my lovely class, and well, i wanted to go and have lotsa beach fun! I think i don't appreciate the climate and the things that i have accesible to me, i mean, a lot of foreigners would kill to go to the beach and have fun anytime of the year whenever they want to! (: heh!!!



gosh, i had a great time, and i was happy mostly everyone, if not all, had a great day!!! (:

love! back to top?

SHE GOT THAT APPLEBOTTOM JEANS...

Today was COLLEGE DAY and zomg, it was a whole lotta fun!!

I SWEAR, I HAD THE BEST FUN EVER. I mean somethings were a bit blech, and most of the time, since i was in House Council, we're always on our toes - BUT OTHER THAN THAT.......... zomg.


so fun. I love all the housecouncilors, i mean, if one was missing, i ASSURE you, something will crop up. Like mr ong said, it wasn't perfect, and there's still lotsa room for improvement - but i guess, for our first event, it was great, at least i enjoyed it!! not to mention i had eyecandies walking around everywhere hahahah. HMMM, okay, so like college day is just like an annual JC event where the whole award/prize giving ceremonies take place (usually at night, involving year2s only) and for the year ones, its like an "honor your college" kind of day. That's what i THINK. I mean i'm still not sure leh. HAHAH. Anyhow, for SAJC, College day was planned by the House Councilors this year; and a lot of work got put into it. I no kid you one. Personally, i think the highlight of the day was the Fun Challenge - it was SUPER the funny lah can!!?! I mean you see the ruggers, the soccer girls, hockers and so many other students running around estatically and like stuffing they're faces (literally), how could i not be entertained?

Then there was the street markets - I THINK EACH AND EVERY STALL REALLY DID FANTABULOUS siol! I mean there were so many creative things going on and like there was a lot of delishiooooooooous food and everything - how could it not be great!
I AM UBER SUPER DUPER LUPER TROOPER PROUD OF 08S26! I AM SO PROUD OF OUR STALL, my only loss is that i couldn't help out more that and i didn't get to eat the nachos and whatnots ):
There was also the SAINTS idol, which was quite okay!! And hahahah, ANTHONY lee is our st idol! HAHAH hc is proud of you boy! Lol, and hahah he got DUNKED by sakinah!! :D


There are so many things you learnt about people in these sort of situations, and mostly all the things you learn about yourself. For instance, i can never feel truly prepared without any pre-preparations; the extra stuff i did for myself etc, i mean without it i'd feel a little lost!!! And like, things about myself that i need to improve too. The people around you, they're your mates, your people, the ones who should have your backs if anything happens, and i'm glad they're the ninth (READ 9TH - LOL pam chua read it as.. neen-th) hc, i mean, we had each others back no matter what, and that's just a good thing. And you know what they say, you can't have too much of a good thing (: There are still SOOOOOOO many things that we have to work on, but we will get there!

NOW, let the rambling stop and the pictures begin!

OH my brother left the other day, so here are some pics too!






















peace! back to top?

The seven things i hate about you

Wow. Today was a full day. I mean my organiser went ALL out. No kidding.
I had school which ended at 3pm then i had house from 4-6pm and then i had choir from 6-8.30pm then i had a family dinner after - cos Red's going to Switzerland. :D

I'm really happy for him. I must say, i always wished i'd travel with him someday, but i've seen more of this world than he has so i'm very happy that he'll get to experience this. I mean i feel bad at how lucky i am - going Europe, and America and all; and he doesn't get the chance. I really wish him the best of times for him and i hope that its the best experience he'll ever get! I'll not exactly miss him - i mean, its just a holiday, but it'll sure be great to see him have a great time, after all that endless studying he's done. you deserve it, abang!

Haix. Anyways, i was saying its a LONG long day today, and i'm not looking forward to tomorrow.

School was. the same. Horribly. Its back to the old days B.Ct. Before Common tests. I mean, we are back to our utter business. wahlau. I am like super the sianed. And i got back my maths and my chemistry. As i expected - bad bad bad bad bad. But you know, i'll learn from this; I think now i'm starting to actually grasp the reality of it all.* GASPETH! * revelation.


I wish there were greater things i could say right now, but for now,

lotsa peace and love.
hannaj back to top?