Anyways, yes, I did.

MOVING on.

I'm honestly giving up on my family. I don't like any of them. Well not really. But for all my siblings, parents etc, there's so many things I don't like about them, anymore. I don't know. But whatever, I love them, still. Of course. Its blood right? But doesn't mean I like them. So many things, and they're family. Family.

What's that supposed to mean? I worked at the family courts of singapore and this is what the judge told us. "It is in this court where you meet the worst of society. You may think you see bad people at the criminal courts, but those are people who commit wrongdoings to people they don't know. Strangers. Here, you see people hurting their own blood. Hurting their families."

I don't know.

I don't know if I want to have kids anymore. I mean, that would make me responsible for another life. To not screw up their life. To not let them get hurt, most of all not by their parents. To let them reach their dreams. Not to forget the religious obligation? I'm afraid for that. I'm afraid of what might be, cos I don't think I know anyone who's able to satisfy all of it. No one I know has, and I don't think anyone will. I don't think I want to have kids. I love the idea, I love it. If you know me enough, you'll know I'll love kids my whole heart. But I don't think I will.

If I do have kids, can I stop them from meeting my family? Can we just live in a bubble of them and me and my love?

Thats not possible now, is it?

Labels: Family, Life as it happens, Reveries

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