I had a great night, I must say. The best night I had in any situation. The best time I've ever had with people from my school. But of course there was one thing missing, and I really really wished she could've been there. It would have made it whole and complete.

My feet are aching.

My body's tired.

But I wouldn't have traded that night for anything.

It was not without a lot of pain; I mean how stupid it is to fight with your mom about something like this? And I was just really proud of myself, for I was honest to myself and I didn't do anything that was wrong to me. I made the right choices and I am proud, because I know that it was not easy to make. Of course I was tempted, but I remembered what my principles were and stayed true to me, and that was important.

Sometimes, I wonder what my parents want of me - well my mother mostly. The whole time she didn't let me go, she said she didn't want anything to happen to me, and I was very sure that she had some trust issues about it - my brother had violated that trust a 1000 times, but still, I constantly remind her that I am not him, not one bit. But as she walked out the door yesterday, she said something to me - "I don't want to tanggung any dosa yang kau buat" ergo, I don't wanna be held responsible for the sins that you do.

Just feels a little selfish, to me. Sigh.

Things just never seem to change, I think.

I love my parents and I don't want it to be that I don't care about them. I'm tired of fighting about everything, just everything. It sucks the life out of everything, and well, honestly, I really really hate fighting. I know sometimes I seem like such a rebel, but I'm really not. The countless times I backed out because my mom said no, the countless times I didn't wanna go when she says "pergi lah, pergi lah..". I would not have had a good time, had she not sincerely allowed me, really.

For that, I know was the hardest decision for her to make, but I'm really really grateful, Ma.

Anyways, enough with the jannahdrama.

IT WAS AN AWESOME NIGHT. I REALLY WISHED YOU WERE HERE HEARTS, BUT I REALLY UNDERSTAND. YOU DIDN'T MISS OUT ON ANYTHING, HONEST - it was just fun, that's all. I'd love to tell the world about the fuckers, the scandals, the psychofreaks, the guys who really can't dance - but I think it violates some sort of privacy thing.

The awesomest part of my night was dancing with my ex-class. They were really the only reason I wanted to go - when else can I spend time with them after this? I mean I expect them to forget me soon enough, and I don't blame them for it. It was fun, just singing the words with them, seeing the different side of my class+the usual posse of TKSS boys. It felt like 2008 over again, and I really loved that part of my 2008.
The best part was him.


Can you believe it's december?

Everything looks so deliciously december, and my sister's coming home, and well, everything. I'm awfully excited for the 17th. For work. For more PAY! For everything to come. It's awesome to know that I think I've achieved several things that I had set out to achieve this year, but I'm looking forward to finishing my jc career. Honest. I can't wait to just be.

But for now, it's time to begin studying again... (:

Labels: Family, Life as it happens, Reveries

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