The ancient Mayans believed that the crust of the Earth was a thin layer which separated the real world and the spirit world. They believed that everything dies and goes into the Earth, and from the Earth comes new life. Regeneration.

Faith & Simplicity.

These past few days have been tiresome, but awesome at the same time. Things change, come and go - friendship, lovers, family, everything. Things just happen that way. But from it, you learn something new, something different - you feel things you never would without these experiences. You grow. You gain new friends, people you thought you'd never click with in that awesome way that you did. And that, friends, is life.

I never thought what Hearts said would've been true. But I guess, it can't be helped - when she told me, I was in lala land, cloud nine - whatever you call it. When I was in my moments of consistent bliss and joy and happiness, she told me to be aware that it may only be temporal, like everything else in life. She reminded me that almost inevitably, what goes up, will come down; that there will come a day where I'd lose that reckless glee I felt I had attained - the one I thought was forever. I was super happy, like the "nothing will bring me down, blablabla" kind. But now, I guess it's turn has come to an end.

I long for that funny joy I had, that simplicity, and zest. But since the past few weeks, its just so hard to get back. I lost it when I was facing some dilemmas, some internal conflicts - things which I've yet to face head on. Part of me is too tired to look it in the eye, and part of me just can't bring myself to do it anymore. Ironic - when a friend has a problem, I say "you have to face it, before it snowballs, before you burst", and yet I just let myself create this ginormous avalanche.

This is how I feel in the deep recesses of my heart.

But on the outside, on the more superficial issues (for the most part), I'm still pretty alright. I'm happy most times, laughing sometimes, smiling always. It's just who I am. Pishposh. I just wish I would get over this, I dunno, phase and move on.

Its like, regeneration, y'know. I want all the bad stuff to go into the Earth, and from the Earth, the birth of all things lovely. But from where I'm standing, I see chaos.

Bring it.

It's like this awesome weather we've been having. Who would've thought that yesterday, Superman, America and I would be drenched wet (despite being umbrella-ready), in our WHITE blouses, laughing our asses off and shivering in the farking cinema. Good times (:

Sigh. I know. I laugh one second, I cry the next. Like I'm ferturded. Schizo.

Oh well.

Labels: Reveries

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