I am trying to find my constant. Trying to find that inner peace that I have, or at least once had. Sigh. I forgot that when you're in a rut, nothing you say can make you feel better; at least not immediately. When you feel like the world around you is crumbling, it's simply that - it feels like its shattering and you can't stop it. Nobody can. The rational part of me that rests in the deep recesses of my mind reminds me that it isn't the end of the world. But hell, sure does feel like it.

What do I want most right now? I want, and I especially miss laughing my head off, and honestly feeling the warmth and joy just grow inside me. I miss having HEARTS in school. I dunno why. HAHA. She teases me all the darn time, but like she just makes me smile a lot. And she tries to be the best person, which makes me wanna be the best person. I miss the positive energy I had in me. Now it all feels simply superficial - like in all honesty, I can't seem to find that joy and it feels so far away. Being so sad and angry is so painful. And not to mention tiring.

I think watching 500 Days of Summer, with my heavy heart wasn't a good idea. Cos it just added more things in the "too many things jannah thinks about" list. But it was an awesome movie, really.

I think right, I just need a good cry. That once I cry at something really sad that has nothing to do with me directly - like a tragedy or devastation, I might be able to actually, tangibly remind myself of all the things I have to be thankful for.

Being sad is like a bad habit. So hard to kick, and when you do kick it, its like, you're so afraid you'll fall back into it again. HAHA.


OKAY, lets try positive. (If i manage positive, please please please pat me on my back)

Today, we were surrounded by so many couples - it was the opening day for 500 DAYS OF SUMMER. I won't lie, it was dreadfully good! Anyways we saw so many SA/Tk boys out with their other halfs... heee. Nice to see. Anyways, upon so much analysis, we all decided that ---s are just puppies. HAHAHA exactly. They give their puppy dog faces, that help them get away with murder..give them a ball and they're all excited..they seem to wanna hump everything..they... HAHAHA they're just like puppies. WHAT A REVELATION, kan?

Anyways, so many couples. Like a mini-Vday. HEE. :D

At school, the retainees played a lot of games - me, freeq, Nadirid played badminton, which was so fun! HAHAHA i cannot servE. Get over it, luh! ahahhaahha :D

This is so sick.

I watched Philip DeFranco and my heart feels lighter.
I read Perez Hilton and my heart feels lighter.

GO MASS MEDIA!!

Labels: Life as it happens, Reveries

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