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Photos as promised

Alrighty. This is me, RANDOMLY musing - so don't bother reading, I just needed a medium to pour my thoughts out, but it's nothing of any importance; at least no to anyone else but me.

Yesterday there was drama, and today there was drama. Because I am practically USELESS for those scenes, I spent my time thinking, and all I could think about was life with him - all the loveliness of it all. It is just my ultimate favourite thing to day dream about. On the long ride home today, I spent the bus ride with my eyes closed dreaming about things. Honestly, I would usually knock my head silly, but really, its the only thing I get to dream about nowadays, and though its so surreal, it just puts me in a dimension, totally away from all the drama I'm used to - WHICH is great. I need some calm, and well, it does give me calm and hope..

Thinking about getting picked up from school by him, driving around together, sharing our dreams and aspirations, kissing him goodnight as he drops me off, resting on his shoulder whilst seeing the sun set - simple things like just being together, holding hands - it sends swarms of butterflies into my stomach. Excitement, surely. Definite? Never. I mean, its all just mere day dreaming on my part, but whether something would materialise.. let's just say, it takes 2 hands to clap. But a girl can dream eh?

Why him? What makes him so yearned for? I have no idea. The prospect of a HIM is just so... different. I don't know, it comes together with hope - that life does change, with time..that things can be different. I don't have a him, or have him, but I'm honest when I say I get quite excited thinking about Him.

The perfect utopic world I draw up in my head just seems so perfect. PERFECT. But there's no such thing as perfection. I don't know - a world where trust exists, and faithfulness, and also, most of all, me having a difference.

Why do you keep dreaming and dreaming jans?

I feel a little out of place sometimes; I think its temperamental. Its like I don't belong. That might be why I'm totally out of it sometimes. grr.



on other things

you stoops jans, how could your mulut be so gatal. bodoh.
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