Wheresoever you go, go with all your heart.

Thursday, March 26, 2009 @ 21:30

SUPER SHAMELESS PROMOTION

(please do read!!)

I'll be performing for HCJC's charity concert.

Please come down support!

Details as follows!

Date: 3RD APRIL 2009, Friday
Time: 7.30pm to 9.00pm
Location: HCJC AUDITORIUM.
Ticket prices:$8!
SMS ME IF YOU WANNA GO PLEASE!! I need the supporters, and well, the concert's lineup's pretty good, so you won't regret it ~ and its for a good cause: autistic children!

back to blog proper~

Salah ke, kalau aku sedih?

I don't care if i go all hybrid englay on you - ENGlish-maLAY - but I'll translate where possible. I'm not at my best emotional stage right now and well, there's somethings which I feel really sad about. SERIOUSLY. aichyoo. Macam sedih gila tau - tak tahu lah. I've been really in and out the past few weeks. Haix. Camne?

I really, really blame the hormones for everything.

~~I've gotten my period TOO many times in too short a period of time. tooshort.~~
TMI I KNOW. But probably a key player of my current disposition.

*Just got back from a phone call from my sister*

I love my sister. Like no matter what I say or said, ultimately, my siblings are my pillar of strength. Yeah, there are times when I figure they'd rather do without me, or I without them, but that's just the anger talking, really. I won't know what I'd do without them ~ arh, I can't even imagine, really.

I got back most of my MSA results today. Oh gosh, I did okay for some, HORRIDLY for one subject. I never thought I'd do badly at it, AT ALL. Never have I done badly for that subject before and I swear, no matter how well I did for other subjects, this downfall somehow manages to outweigh them all. Really. Is it possible that in the light of true blue testing, I really can't do that subject, or just honestly not good at it at all? I mean seriously. Have I been fooled by a lie all this long? You have no idea, no idea what I'm feeling right now. Gosh. What was my excuse for doing so badly? i just wanna curl up in a ball and cry for a bit. just a bit, and i'll be fine.

Ultimately, I did okay for my MSAs, with only one more subject yet to be calculated. ARH. I hate this, cos I still didn't meet my expectations so badly for that subject.

Nur Jannah Cheang. STOP THIS. STOP FEELING SORRY FOR YOURSELF, STOP beating your self up for it.

I really ought to just work harder at my wrongs, consult my teachers for my flaws and turn them all around, and ULTIMATELY, make improvements, and narrow the room for mistakes. STUDY harder and smarter

That's the name of the game.I guess thats one of the reasons why I am quite down and blue. Typical cedarian. haha. There are of course other reasons. Not feeling one with my class; I know, they can't help it, but well, I'm not one of them ~ it doesn't bother me much, but just a little. I'm not as happy internally as I was once, early this year. Actually, when I think about it, I sometimes wonder if I've ever been really happy. After some evaluation and stuff, I think that many a times, my happiness, no matter how its acquired, is very short-lived. Like after a few hours, I suddenly reach a low. And well, it happens on most days too. Like just backtrack my blogposts. I'm not kidding. ARH. I don't know why, and that's what bothers me most. Is it me - am I just thinking this way cos I'm feeling down? Or am I really eternally sad by nature?

HAHAH. Okay, I doubt that's so, but even so, I doubt it isn't so. I wanna just stop trying to please other people. Really leh. Like stop. I've been spending too much time trying to please as many groups of people as possible - family, relatives, friends here and there, old class new class, old friends new friends. Key word, TRYING. But its so hard, and when I am unable to do so, I feel like I've failed terribly. Boo )

Its all about you, jans. Its all about you.