Wow. This year's Aidilfitri has really been one of the worst ones ever. Especially when I go on Facebook and see the many many photos of my friends, enjoying the festivities with their families, and loved ones. I haven't had a proper Hari Raya in years; big life-changing decisions are truly, life-changing. Coupled with the fact that Hari Raya falls in the midst of prelims, and that two of my siblings are in totally different continents, and the very fact that my mother's family is in Malaysia.. well there isn't much celebrating going on. What scares me is well, I wonder what will happen of the years to come? When I grow older, will I lug my family to Malaysia to meet my cousins? When my grandmother passes on, who will keep my family together? I have a huge huge family, but the ties that bind us has loosened, quite a bit. And what about my own direct family? Will my kids have their cousins to play with? Will they be excited to visit their grandparents? With my family strewn all over the world.. I kinda can't help but wonder how the future will be like.

I don't want my kids to grow up, unaware of their roots and culture. I mean Eid in itself is Muslim, and you can find Islam no matter where you go in the world. But HARI RAYA that's a manifestation of the Malay culture. No matter how much I'll insist I am Chinese, I am too Malay, and I do not deny that. I'm proud to be apart of this race and culture filled with traditions, vibrancy, everything. There's so much beauty in it, that many overlook due to the erosion of the Malay people under the social lens. I mean, yes, we are reminded everyday that the Malay people seem to be at the pit of society and that many problems that plague our society today - teenage pregnancies, druggies, etc - also seem to plague a great number of those of the Malay race. But in the midst of all this ratatata, lies a beautiful culture. The clothes, the colours, the hospitality, the kindness - all of which is embedded into being Malay. I don't want my children to be ignorant of this. I want them to have the things I had, experience what I experienced, and so much more.

Fingers crossed.

Labels: Life as it happens, Reveries

back to top?