You know, I'm bloddy damn sick. And it sucks. To the core. Sucks. On soooo many levels.

I'm miserable.

I'm so sick, I can't even fall asleep, which is weird since sleep and me are like....woosh.

"She should have been born a pillow, so she can lie on the bed all day long" - Dad to Anqi.

So when I do fall asleep, it isn't a deep sleep; So I woke up exactly when I got Jeg's sms, i.e: 4.45am? Yeah. Like that *snaps fingers*

Oh and speaking about Jeg, seriously - I feel so bad ): I can't go to school today cos I'm sick, and he's all alone, doing the scrapbook for Service Learning. I mean, I feel damn bad cos like he has to do the whole thing by himself! Bless his cotton socks. I hope the class helps him. If that someone doesn't, I'll kill him in so many ways he'd wish he wasn't born. HAHA. No, seriously.

Man, so poor thing. Like I'm thinking I might drop by school to help him out! 

Oh, another thing. Mother nature must be in a good mood. But it could be a false alarm.

I stand corrected - Mother nature couldn't possibly be a woman; after all the things she makes the female race go through, I've concluded "she" must be a misogynist.

(It means men who hate women, fyi)

Lately, I'm using fyi a lot. Like woah. Heh.. 

God, I'm damn random lah.

Oh I've gotta share my service learning experience. 

On the day itself, 4th Sept, we all went down to Queenstown Primary. We worked with dyslexic children; holding a 4hour day camp for them, with loadsa activities. I'm one of the ICs, so I won't lie when I say that Service Learning is like my baby. I've put so much effort into it; proposals after proposals, timelines after timelines, ideas after ideas. It really wasn't easy, and took a lot of my mental capacity. (What do you think, I can pluck ideas from the air ah?) 

I was really excited to see my baby fly! But at the same time, worried. 

Anyways, on that day itself, there were so many ups and downs. A lot of things we didn't expect, and at some points, I must say we were ill prepared. I know the speaker from the DAS told us they were normal kids, but they emphasized so much that these kids were slow and all that we didn't expect them to be that normal. Really. They were just like all my little cousins. Danial Rafar, Danial Molok, Nabilah (omg), Aizat, Izat, Fariz; even my nieces and nephews - Syafiq, Ain, and Lara. It was like playing with my little relatives; all their different personalities were there. Seriously. They were little setans (devils) just like some of my own cousins, and they were little angels, just like them too. I don't see this looming "DYSLEXIA" anywhere at all. 

The only supposed "sign" of them being dyslexics was their eminent creativity - you could see it during the doorknob art.

If my child was dyslexic, at least I'm prepared. I'm prepped for an absolutely normal, creative, adorable, naughty, lovable child to call my own. School work - pish posh. Your academic ability does not measure who you are, and these children ought to be told that, "Its Okay". The problem with Singapore is that education becomes a measure of who you are - which is totally unfair. Many a times, people won't even look at you, unless you're smart and intelligent, and from a good school. This is a definite loss to our society. 

Imma mentioned in her blog that she doesn't quite like the system of education here. I agree, almost whole-heartedly. I swear the pressures we face are boundless. It no longer becomes a personal goal to simply succeed and do well; it becomes an overbearing need. Many a times, it isn't about passion for learning anymore. Half of the time, we do it so as not to embarrass our parents (woopdeedoo) and the other half, we do it cos its kind of what we're programmed to do. Don't get me wrong, I am in utmost agreement that education is important for every individual. I think however, the only reason that this education system even works for our nation in the first place, producing good results and all, is because we're so god damn Asian. We're so afraid to lose face, we're so afraid to go against the norm. 

Why oh bloody why.

I mean, seriously, WHO BLOODY HAS TUITION at PRIMARY ONE?! Singaporeans. Half of the time, foreigners don't even get what tuition is. If you mention tuition fees, for example, they'd think you mean university fees - not a twice a week visit to some place, sitting down for something that feels oh so familiar. "Hmmm, didn't i just WENT to school? How come I'm here again?" I won't lie though. Because everyone has tuition, and simply because in school, everything is in compress mode (a.k.a everything is being compressed into our poor brains in such a short period of time, we can barely BARELY keep up) that in order to survive, even I need tuition. But unlike most Singaporeans, I have never actually had tuition. Only in primary six - simply because my mother wanted me to sit down and study, not exactly cos I needed the academic help. What the shits, I've got friends who has tuition for EVERY subject in school. So wouldn't that be just like attending school, again? Only in totally different timings? 

I don't know. 

I know that for sure, the education system here has produced - however only because we follow it like as though its the words of Mao Zedong, and we are the PRCs.  I swear. I mean you integrate this education system into other societies, and you might have a deteriorating society. Or in America's case, hell loads of protest. (Okay, I've might have gone a little overboard with exaggeration) Eitherway, as a kid, I've NEVER had a school holiday where I'm not sitting down doing holiday homework - even when I was 9 years old. Holidays, aren't holidays for us really. They're more like "work from home" days. Except for when you graduate from an education institution, your holidays are spent with either projects, math sums, english essays, etc. The list is endless. Reading about the youths elsewhere and their "summer vacations" will make anyone green with envy. 

Hah, the laments of a Singaporean student. How very typically Singaporean of me - complain, complain, complain. I love my country for everything it has done for me, providing me with lots of protection, diversity (something very rare in many nations) and helping me grow. If anything, this is the one thing I can't stand about it.

Not everything is perfect now, is it? 

Tough love, tough love.