why don't you tell him that 'i'm leaving..'

Shit happens. I think my "note to self" notes are piling up, and i think (i know you've heard me go on about this before but this time its for real. REALLY) its about time i get my priorities straight. I've already planned a timetable out for myself to follow. To have consistent work done. ZOMG, cts are HORRID (i've got one more day left - H1 literature. unseen) I've never been so scared to sit for an exam my whole entire life. Not even during o's. And o's was pretty creepy-esque. Okay, not really, but eitherways seriously. I've really got to set my life straight. Gosh. Its so different, the burdens of responsibility and the responsibilities we incur through our actions. I mean, in secondary school COME ON! I won't lie, i had a lot of responsibilities, and i did a lot more afterschool crap than in-school crap.. But somehow, it doesn't feel as bad as in jc. EVERYTHING'S in overdrive. Of course, i don't regret any of my decisions; its not what i'm talking about. What i mean is that everything's so FFAASSSSSSSSSSSSST!

you know, in secondary school, if i didn't do well, i could go to poly and it'd still be ok, and i could still get into uni. But now, its a whole new ball game. I mean, if i screw this year, i get retained (BAD, but, at least theres hope). If i screw up next year, gaaaah. DIE.. i mean, really. The goals i have set for myself in relation to my post-jc education seems totally unattainable at the rate i'm moving. SO. This is my promise to myself. After all, no matter what, i'm only doing it for myself. No one else.

I can do this. I know i fucked CTs oh yeah, upside down, left right front back center. Fucked. BUT. this is my wake up call. PROMOS. i will not just promote, but i'll do it with dignity and grace. i hope.

Tomorrow's my lit paper. Jia you to me! Anyhow, i had extra lit lesson today, and marrisa and i had to go collect something in town later. We had lunch, we went to collect our stuffs, preordered BREAKING DAWN (aaaaaaaaaaaaaah!), went home. BUT i must admit, it was a whole lotta fun! I mean, i've never gone out with her before, but it was damn funny (: WOMAN, CAKAP MELAYU MORE! haahaha. OH and i've learnt 2 new things. heh...... (:

oh well, i hope everything goes well. I'm still a very busy bee, so this blog is the least of my priorities. But i'll still update lah. Just not too soon. (:

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