Wheresoever you go, go with all your heart.

Saturday, January 17, 2009 @ 07:51

If you haven't seen this..

One of the only things that has managed to brighten my days recently. No i figure its the only thing that managed to boost me up. If you're feeling down, sad, depressed, out-of-sorts, or simply feel like giving up - watch this vid, really.

I'm going on a Hiatus.

Before I go, I'll just say somethings..
Its sad that I'm leaving choir, but my parents, and well whole family in fact are insistent that I shouldn't be in choir anymore, and actually, I don't wanna fight it. I'm happy they care about me, I'm happy not to fight, and I'm happy enough to do what's best for me. Just like retaining, I know this is what is best for me. Though its not a 100% about using up a lot of time - in all actuality, a lot of it has to do with the fact that being in choir, singing all those church/christian/sacred music really leaves me uncomfortable - though i may not look it. I mean I try my best to be professional, and I try to shove my insecurities about it under the rug during choir, but many a times, I come home and think, ' Oh gosh, is it right?'. Cos honestly I feel its really wrong. I mean if they sing, like how my secondary school choir was, songs that were not sacred, then I jolly well better plant myself in the choir room and never come out. But they don't, and well, its a mission school so go figure. I wonder if people will understand. I'll really miss them all.

Theresa, Alexis, Cheryl, Chiteng, Shingyee, Jasmine, Shelley, Hui hui, Hilary, James, Weiliang, Andy, Weileong, Szecin, Tim, Ryan, Paul, ZhengZi

If you wanna know what retaining is like, well - it has its bitter moments and its lovely moments. I'm really hoping to love all my subjects that I've taken. Sure, i've got a romantic idea of what my subjects, especially the new ones would be like, but really, I'm just glad that I did it. Glad that I took on something that I know I have passion for. Not something I thought would be great, just cos of what my siblings/parents/friends etc say. Months from now, when the exams start and I'm feeling low, I'll look back to this and see where I came from, and make sure I don't lose my sense of self. Its not all lovely - unlike most JCs, retainees in SA has this thing called the "HEADSTART PROGRAMME". For the subjects you're weak in, then well, its more that important that we have this programme. But for those that you are quite strong in, its a little depressing cos we lessons are mundane, and well when the J1s come it its like REWIND AND REPEAT! Aish. Its all for the better good of A levels.

With an extra year under my sleeve, I hope to really score well for A's. I've set my goals and well, I just hope I ACE IT! :D And now I know that the J1 year is really important - filled with opportunities that I hope do make use of. Gosh, exciting. For the first time in a long while, I'm starting to believe in myself again.

At the same time, I've found a group of friends, amongst the retainees. I mean there's still a lot to say, and a lot that I don't know about them, but still, we're on the right track, and hopefully we'll just be great friends and well help each other out! MRC! HAHAHA. Still, its kind of weird not seeing my other friends, those that I've really gotten to love. And its different now, for sure. I mean things are definitely not the same. They've moved on, and to be fair, its only inevitable and at the same time, I want the best for them. I want them to do well.

Good luck friends. FOR MSAs too.

A lot of things have begun to change, since 2009 began.
It'll just continue that way, ya?

*Hiatus, hiatus*

Love,
Jannah