Listen.Live.
your anonymous thoughts?
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Listen.Live. |
Saturday, March 01, 2008 @ 23:05
OK, for the many who don't know, i take : MATHS CHEM ECONS LIT(H1) if anyone asks, i don't have a cca (YET) and i don't know what cca to join (S.C, H.C, TOUCH!) and i maybe just want to be a loner and work hard for O's. As much as i do have friends, i still think i'm doing so many things wrong, and that adjusting into school life is getting harder and harder as i continue. And i'm not just talking about Maths lectures and bridging (WHICH BY THE WAY, I feel like a lost chicken in class all the time! >.<). I mean the many decisions i make in jc seems to contribute to my excelling in A levels, or screwing it up. i mean, seriously? I think to myself whether my dying need to join touch rugby (something that i've wanted for months) would mean jeopardizing my chances of obtaining a scholarship. Worst yet, i think to myself if simply not doing anything, like just mugging night and day, no cca etc, whether it'll really make me fall into depression. I worry, that there will be no balance in it. I mean, its really easy for ANYONE to say, its all about prioritizing, all about balance, all about time management, but it truly is difficult. To make matters worse, i don't know if i should do something that everyone sees me doing; drama club, etc, something that i should try to excel in and pursue, or something that is out of my usual norm. GAAAAAAH, though having a choice is SAID to be a privellege, i think that its simply pure torture. simply. I want to take streetdance classes. I have already found a class thats highly flexible in timings, and i think i'm definitely going to join. i want to take language courses. Enrich my mind... Not to forget, i want to take ice-skating classes. SImply idle thoughts, all of it. the despair i'm in cannot be understood by ANYONE, and i mean anyone, at all. to live life, or to simply put it all away? ultmate sacrifice? fuck. only tuesday is emo day. back to top? |