Wheresoever you go, go with all your heart.

Sunday, December 25, 2011 @ 15:18 Glee. Sam and Mercedes, feels like a lie. back to top?
Saturday, January 15, 2011 @ 04:25 moved. This space has been good to me. I've had it for almost 4 years, but I think it's about time I move. So, catch me if you can? I love scuddingclouds.bs, it holds some of the best memories of my 19 years <3 New year, New beginnings. back to top?
Thursday, January 13, 2011 @ 14:57 Safety pins, holding up the things, that make you mine. So basically, I'm a happy camper. Silly, but true. I hope I'm not being naïve about work - I mean, I can't help but feel positive about it!! Anyways today was a (short!) good day at work, woohoo! Made some friends, listened to a guy's ipod through his earphones (only cos I could hear it from far) playing PATRON TEQUILA! Haha, I don't know if it's because of the song or the girls that I love it so much! To be honest probably the girls! They're so "fine, like summer wine that's divine, anytime"! If I was a boy.... Haha. Anyways, for the first time ever I feel superbly grateful about me living where I do. For three days of this week, I've been living life at Jurong East. I truly believe its the most inconvenient place in this country to live at. Like given the masses of people living in that area, its awful- especially Jurong East MRT :( hats off to all the Jurong East-ers. Wouldn't survive if that was me. On other things, I have been very slow on my reading front. Am reading Tolstoy's "Anna Karenina" now and I'm superbly slow, it makes no sense at all. But the book is amazing so far, really. Russian romanticism, the whole shebang. But I'm still merely 60+ pages in, so we'll see right? I bought some books whilst waiting for him at KLP - they had one of those 4 for $10 sales at the atrium so I indulged. After all, I'm a working woman now! Haha. So I have so many books to read, yet not exactly making the best progress! Haha who cares, this I what post-A levels are about- the lack of deadlines! Going to cut/trim my hair today! Not thinking of doing much, really. Just snip snip and fringe adjustments! Going to need hair ties and stuff for work:( I honestly hate the uniform! I really do! Well not like hate hate, I just hate it on me. Not flattering at all:( but there's not much I can do or say about that, ey? Thank god my friends can't visit me, unless of course they pay like 70 bucks? Haha. Ciao! Sent via BlackBerry from SingTel! back to top?
Sunday, January 02, 2011 @ 03:49 And I won't back down cos life's already hit me. Oh yes, I have been away. Now I'm trying to remember what I've been up to. December has been a pretty lovely month, yet one that's pretty hot and cold. Some days I'm filled to the brim with activities, whilst some days my sole itinerary consists of vegetating. Hahaha. December was filled with mostly lovely memories, of prom, him, of music and partying, of firsts. Hope 2011 is even better. back to top?
Tuesday, December 14, 2010 @ 04:03 Fear is the heart of love. Death Cab For Cutie - I Will Follow You Into The Dark If there's no one beside you, when your soul embarks, then I'll follow you into the dark. Haha, DCFC is simply, brilliant. Anyways, I've been wallowing in darkness and the corners of the twisted for way too long. I think that spending too much time alone, becomes really unhealthy. Besides, being awake at ungodly hours and irregular sleep patterns - NOT GOOD. So, how's life been? A lot of funny moments, really. Thanks to hearts, wengs, jo, fatz, (well most of the people i've interacted with in the past week!) A lot of smiles too, thanks to the BHC. I'm hoping to meet Man soon. <3 So much heartbreak going on, in this period. Permanent heartbreak for some, temporary for others. It makes me very sad to see my friends in pain, even the ones who've been in pain since march (i think) - it still pains me to see her cry so much, so sad and so vulnerable. I really hope I've been of some help, though I think nothing in reality can truly aid a heart in pain. That's the worst part, isn't it? The fact that nothing can cure heartache, but the one that caused it in the first place? Hugs, all around, for the broken hearted people. I think we spend plenty of time thinking we're alone, but really, no one really is. I just hope, especially for her, she finds someone soon, to make it all better. I lost a whole monday today. Lost it. Like time that I can never take back. All because I felt like life had handed me pain in a platter. Haha. But, I'm back up again. After spending about 18 hours in bed, most of it sleeping and reading Anna Karenina (amazingly a really nice read. Amazing so far.) I finally got my butt moving. Went with the father to NEX mall buying some groceries, in my PJs. TO MAKE EVERYTHING JUST A TAD MORE AWESOME, I bumped into like 6/7 SA boys that I knew (shawn, jingkai, ben, leonard etc) WHILST IN MY FREAKING PJs. Yes, it's my fault for wearing my PJs out of my house. But I couldn't help it. I wasn't in the best of moods, and the mall was so near! Haha, but yes, I felt superbly embarrassed. Like, red faced embarrassed. Hahaha. Shit happens, deal with it! Life's not perfect, but, I figure, it's the best thing that will ever happen to me. So make the best out of it, right? Labels: One Last Song, Reveries back to top?
Sunday, December 12, 2010 @ 20:52 by the way, i tried to say i'll be there Red Hot Chili Peppers - By The Way Prom was a few days ago, and well, safe to say, at least for the most part, I felt that compared to sec 4 prom, I looked the way I had wanted to. Haha, so yes, for the most part I am very pleased with myself. I mean the journey to prom was kinda frustrating cos well, having to stretch your dollar is not a very fun process. Hahah, but thanks to my fairygodfather and to my parents for making it all the better. Prom and Post-prom was good (or at least the best it could be) thanks to all the lovely people. I am really thankful and grateful for my class. I couldn't thank God enough for letting me meet these people, all amazing and unique in their own way. To think that I am done with school and everything, is still kind of, well.. scary. Haha. I've been feeling very... apprehensive of late. And might I say a little frustrated perhaps. It just feels that I have a lot of pent up emotions in me, and I need some sort of release. Like a nice cheerful activity that won't cost me money. Hahaha. Not that I don't have anything to be thankful for, but as of late I feel worn down, and forgotten. Does that make sense? Yea, forgotten I guess. Unappreciated. Whatever the word is, it's the same feeling. I miss you a lot, adelaida hassan. It's days like these where I feel like sitting with you at the airport burgerking sipping on large ice lemon tea, just talking, feeling loved and understood. I wish you didn't have to be so far away :( Sigh, I'm being so silly. toodles. Labels: Life as it happens, Reveries back to top?
@ 20:20 When the sun begins to shine.. Someday When my life has passed me by I lay around and wonder why You were always there for me One way In the eyes of a passerby I look around for another try And fade away Just close your eyes and I'll take you there This place is warm without a care We'll take a swim in the deep blue sea I go to leave and you reach for me Some say Better things will come our way No matter what they try to say You were always there for me Someway When the sun begins to shine I hear a song from another time And fade away And fade away Just close your eyes and I'll take you there This place is warm without a care We'll take a swim in the deep blue sea I go to leave and you reach for me Someone said you tried too long Someone said we got it all Someone said we tried too long Is there a place where I belong? So far and so long So far away So far and so wrong So far away, away, away Some day When my life has passed me by I lay around and wonder why You were always there for me One way In the eyes of a passerby I look around for another try And fade away And fade away And fade away And fade away Labels: One Last Song back to top?
Monday, December 06, 2010 @ 02:03 Uninvited. Alanis Morisette's "Uninvited" I've been baking. On saturday, I just woke up and decided that I was gonna bake and I did. Chocolate chip cookies. Chewy and soft. Cos that's the way he likes it. And I made them palm sized! You know like how Subway cookies are like? They were really yummy. But I don't eat cookies. But I love baking. It felt good to do something, just because I wanted to. Without a care in the world for whether I had something else I should be doing. Nothing else mattered, but what I wanted. So after that, I cooked! Pasta. Farfalle pasta topped with creamy tomato portobello sauce. Okay, that was realllly delicious. And I still had some leftovers in the fridge today, so basically I'm a happy camper. Today also I baked - brownies. I couldn't find my tray so I made them in cupcakes. And topped them with nutella. This was undoubtedly sinful. I really would like to share it with people. Perhaps I should just walk around randomly and come up to people asking them if they would like some. Heh. Sounds fun. Saturday night was lovely. Okay, towards the end, the night could've been better. But regardless, it started out awesomely. Especially since I was with my girls. <3 Right now, in the midst of enjoying my life thus far, I've actually got a very legitimate worry about my employment status. I need the money to keep up my hedonistic lifestyle of post A levels. So... sigh. Prom's this coming thursday. Exciting, I guess. But my mind is too busy thinking about other things that's been on my mind to worry about such a trivial thing like prom. C'est La Vie. Labels: Life as it happens back to top?
Thursday, December 02, 2010 @ 01:04 inhalexhale. Today was filled with traveling. I realise that this country really isn't that big, BUT it never ceases to amaze me. There's always something that I haven't seen, someplace that I've never been. It's quite fun actually. I guess, if I've yet to figure out every nook and cranny of my own country, I should, before I begin exploring the countries' of others. I spent today with Firqin. I enjoyed my day whole-heartedly. We chatted and laughed and had Wendy's (at Holland Village), basically spending many hours just seated there and talking. So nice to just have a friend, and just be. Best part of course was the fact that we were far off from anywhere too crowded or noisy. So it was just fun :) i really enjoyed today sumartono. heheh. and all the things we shared. especially about our mothers. <3 <3 <3 Anyways, wow. Just got my period today. Okay tmi I know but it explains all the negativity festering in my soul. Like, wow, I've been in this bubble (or still am) of like angst these past few days. It's really hard to be carefree and happy when all you wanna do is watch sob stories and cry, when all you can see is the thunder and the grey skies. When all you can think about is about how much better off other people are, ET CETERA. IT IS SO HORRIBLE, I REALLY CAN'T WAIT FOR THIS CLOUD TO PAST. Alright, I've said my piece. p.s. Today (that being the first of december) marks 183 days together, not killing each other. yet. hahahah. love. Labels: Life as it happens, Reveries back to top?
Monday, November 29, 2010 @ 23:11 smiles. I honestly feel like the huge load on my shoulder (at the back of my mind, what have you) has been lifted. A Levels, was not an easy feat. By far, in my 19 years of life, one of the hardest things that I've ever had to go through. Really. I mean, psychologically, physically, everything. I've gone through my fair share of tough things in life, so... hmm. I'm really glad it's over. At some point I went crying to my father, thinking that I won't be able to get through it. Another time, I lost my soul into a really dark place, I had my "what's the whole point?" moment. Really, glad to have it over. However I won't lie, I have no idea how I'd fare. Like mixed feelings best describes how I feel in totality. Because, I don't know. I don't know how I did. I don't know if I put in my best, only because there's always a part of me that feels that there's always room to be better, and above and beyond that, I have very little faith in myself anymore. Aiyaaa. Whatever. Que sera, sera. In March, I will know. Till then, I guess.. pray. Yes, apprehensive wouldn't even begin to describe how I feel. But enough with insecurities, I am a very happy camper (plus minus some pms hormones. haha)!!!! Post-As have been amazing so far. Friday was Seoulgardening, and then dinner with love at Holland, and a lovely night altogether. Funny coincidences, lovely moonlight, handholding. Bliss. So many beautiful memories, that will last forever. iloveyou. (I'm really happy. And in love.) Saturday was spent with the "longest" friend I've ever had in my life. She knows me, and I share parts of myself with her that I don't share with anyone else in my life. Fadhilah Zulkepli, I will never forget you - who I am today, you've played a part in it ;) Sunday was spent with my rock of my JC career.. HEARTSYAT!!! Sundays With Hearts! As always, filled with soooo much laughter and good times, TWG tea and the chichi part of life. giggles I know we didn't really go on this last lap together, but I've always had you in my thoughts, and cherish you very very very much. Monday was an early day spent at Choa Chu Kang for FIRQIN SUMARTONO THE BIRTHDAY GIRL! :D :D :D It was so fun to sneak into her house and pop some poppers and scream happy birthday for my fellow sunshine, and love. SMARTONO (smart huh! :D) i love youuuu hope today was AMAZEBALLS. Then it was travelling here and there and finally an hour plus spent catching up with farid fadzil! :D oh and marissa (I LOVE THIS CHICKKKK) with me at my house nowwww :D Sigh, I hope I get a job and just, well, enjoy having me belonging to me. Until I get sucked into some other system. Sigh. I need me time. Wind down, some chick flicks, and well just keep rediscovering myself, my passions. Oh and I'm starting a reading list. I THINK TO MAKE SURE I COMMIT, I'm gonna put the list here, and keep updating! Bold means read! 1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen 2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien 3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte 4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling 5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee 6 The Bible - Too Many Cooks 7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte (ugh not by choice) 8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell 9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman 10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens 11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott 12 Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy 13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller 14 Complete Works of Shakespeare 15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier 16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien 17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulk 18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger 19 The Time Traveler’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger 20 Middlemarch - George Eliot 21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell 22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald 23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens 24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy 25 The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams 27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoevsky 28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck 29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll 30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame 31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy 32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens 33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis 34 Emma - Jane Austen 35 Persuasion - Jane Austen 36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis 37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini 38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres 39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden 40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne 41 Animal Farm - George Orwell 42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown 43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez 44 A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving 45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins 46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery 47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy 48 The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood 49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding 50 Atonement - Ian McEwan 51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel 52 Dune - Frank Herbert X 53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons 54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen 55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth 56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon 57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens 58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley 59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime - Mark Haddon 60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez 61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck 62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov 63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt 64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold 65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas 66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac 67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy 68 Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding 69 Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie 70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville 71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens 72 Dracula - Bram Stoker 73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett 74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson 75 Ulysses - James Joyce 76 The Inferno – Dante 77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome 78 Germinal - Emile Zola 79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray 80 Possession - AS Byatt 81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens 82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell 83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker 84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro 85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert 86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry 87 Charlotte’s Web - EB White (i'm gonna re-read this either way.) 88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom 89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle 90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton 91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad 92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery 93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks 94 Watership Down - Richard Adams 95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole 96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute 97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas 98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare 99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl 100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo 101 Everything is Illuminated - Jonathan Safron Foer 102 The Known World - Edward P Jones 103 The Human Stain - Philip Roth 104 Blood Meridian - Cormac McCarthy 105 The Woman Warrior - Maxine Hong Kingston 106 The Bluest Eye - Toni Morrison 107 The Crying of Lot 49 - Thomas Pynchon 108 Lost in the Funhouse - John Barth 109 Franny and Zooey - JD Salinger 110 On The Road - Jack Kerouac 111 Wise Blood - Flannery O'Connor 112 Black Boy - Richard Wright OKAY. will add or update soon <3 Labels: Life as it happens, Reveries back to top?
Wednesday, November 17, 2010 @ 17:40 In the pain, there is healing. The broken clock is a comfort It helps me sleep tonight Maybe it can start tomorrow From stealing all my time And I am here still waiting Though I still have my doubts I am damaged at best Like you've already figured out I'm falling apart I'm barley breathing With a broken heart That's still beating In the pain There is healing In your name I find meaning So I'm holding on I'm holding on I'm holding on I'm barely holding on to you The broken locks were a warning You got inside my head I tried my best to be guarded I'm an open book instead And I still see your reflection Inside of my eyes That are looking for purpose They're still looking for life I'm falling apart I'm barely breathing With a broken heart That's still beating In the pain (In the pain) Is there healing? In your name (In your name) I find meaning So I'm holding on (I'm still holding) I'm holding on (I'm still holding) I'm holding on (I'm still holding) I'm barely holding on to you I'm hanging on another day Just to see what you will throw my way And I'm hanging on to the words you say You said that I will be okay Broken lights on the freeway Left me here alone I may have lost my way now I haven't forgotten my way home I'm falling apart I'm barely breathing With a broken heart That's still beating In the pain (In the pain) There is healing In your name (In your name) I find meaning So I'm holding on (I'm still holding) I'm holding on (I'm still holding) I'm holding on (I'm still holding) I'm barely holding on to you I'm holding on (I'm still holding) I'm holding on (I'm still holding) I'm holding on (I'm still holding) I'm barely holding on to you Sometimes, I really am left confused and lost, when it comes to you. Everything seems at odds, my head and my heart. But I'm still holding on to you. back to top?